Friday, 22 August 2014

Discouraging Snails or...

How To Discourage Snails From Hanging Out In One's Kitchen:

Turn the music up loud and play rock- they don't much like rock, too difficult to climb.

Tell them they are not welcome.

Ask them to leave- doesn't generally work, unless your Snailese is better than mine, in which case could you give me a few useful phrases? (Coming soon 'The Berlitz Guide to Snailese'.)

Play Café music, they don't like that either as the coffee grounds scramble their slime paths.

Bring in a rabbit from the field and ask them to race the snails...actually that didn't work so well with the hare and the tortoise, did it?

Tell them to hurry up and get on with whatever they're doing and hope you annoy 'em enough to make 'em leave.

Kidnap them and sell them into slavery to the French Restaurant...guess who's been listening to Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat?

Invite some ducks to tea.

And if all the above fail, evict 'em by throwing them over the wall into the orchard- it discombobulates them, you know?

They even ate the cover of a good novel.

 Any better ideas?


Jane In The Jungle said...

Oh My Gosh.....but, I could handle snails, it's the slugs that send me into fits!!! Glad you stopped by the glad we're together again, lol!

Soggibottom said...

No don't chuck 'em, it's a well known fact the little blighters can find their way home again. Best to get a bucket with water and put a load of salt in it. Then you know they will never come back.. yep, ducks work too :-) x x x

Benta AtSLIKstitches said...

Isn't it annoying when they attack books! I go with the 'chucking over the fence' method


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