Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Seen In The Kitchen

Ok, so this is so ridiculous that you will either howl laughing or delete me:

The other night in the pitch black I got up to the loo, and because it was pitch black I didn't put on my glasses. At the bathroom door a strange glow emanating from the kitchen caught my bleary eyes and after sniffing to check for fire, (no smell) I decided that to investigate without glasses would be pure stupid.

So back to get (and put on) my glasses.

Return to the kitchen. There's a weird glow around the fridge....oh my goodness, the weird glow is around the door of the fridge!

At this point I am aware that most normal people would think, 'Oh I must have left the fridge door slightly open, darn!'

But NO! What did Heckety think? 'Heck, there's Aliens in my fridge!'

And whereas most normal people, especially in the middle of the night, would turn on the light, go over, and push the door closed....what did I do?

I crept over, in the dark, and quietly opened the door to see what the Aliens were doing...??

Of course the punch line would be that they were stealing the cheese to create a new moon for their planet...but actually even I had to admit that there was nothing in my fridge except a problem with the rubber door seal.

Oh dear.

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Impasse...or...A Pointless Post

What does one do when one reaches an impasse with the quilt in progress?
Hmmm, does the Seminole work really go or
 do I need something different in that panel? Hmmmmmmm...
One goes out to hoke at the window boxes...
Is that really the kale seeds germinating or is it just weeds I wonder?
...do a spot of much needed weeding, a SPOT, I said...
Golly to goodness, better mind out for lions and tigers and bears ha ha!
...dead- head the rambling rose and discuss with the lovely climber what exactly it is...
Are you a Virginia Creeper because I've
always wanted one of those on my house, I think they're lovely:
 please be a ginny creeper?
...admire the fuchsia which is still going strong and quite a blaze of colour...
...and finally plant out the winter pansies which I bought this week in a fit of extravagance (they were on special offer so I saved €2.50 by buying three, but I could have saved €11 if I'd left them in the shop!)
Yup, those are the old grape punnets re-used! Who's a pretty pansy then?!

I know the middle one is a sunflower! I just put the pansies in next to it for when the sunflower karks it, its called multi-purposing, or maybe thinking ahead...or maybe just stingy!
And finally, several hours later when one has done all that and the solution to the quilt impasse has become clear, one realises that one has been out wearing one's clean sewing jumper and indoor shoes and is now quite filthy.


Solve one problem, create another.

Screw it! and one brushes off the worst of the dirt, scrubs the mud out of the fingernails and returns to the quilt, much dirtier but really no wiser.

Monday, 22 September 2014


Open Letter to the Bugs in MY Bathroom:

Dear Bugs In MY Bathroom,

This is a request for your cooperation in the matter of privacy, mine.

I am aware that this house has been here for a very long time, and so it follows that you were in residence long before I ever arrived. In fact I think it is probably safe to say that you have been in residence for many hundred generations of your kind. Now I know that it is indeed an evil thing to evict residents just because the new administration wants the facilities, but I am not requesting you to leave at all, In fact I do quite enjoy your company.

I would just ask that you restrict your wild public socialising in MY bathroom to between say 11pm till 7am, and whenever I am off the premises, of course.

I am sure there are many people, extroverts and such, who truly would not mind an audience when they are on the loo or in the shower but unfortunately I am not one of them. I also worry about the number of you with an obvious death-wish; any slater, centipede, inchworm, beetle and spider who insists on sharing the shower does after all run the risk of being washed back to their Great Maker. An ignominious end for any self-respecting bug I would think. Ditto the ones who like to run around my feet when I am cleaning my teeth, because as you will have discovered by now, I do not always wear my glasses so therefore cannot see where I am stepping.

But heck, its your choice.

Of course the spiders, flies, bluebottles, butterfly, wasps and daddy-long-legs are in a much safer position up the wall but they are still included in this address.

Please consider my request for privacy in MY bathroom?

Expecting to hear from you soonest.


PS Would the very large brown spider who has taken up residence in the hand-towel please find another place to live as the hand-towel is definitely off limits and I will certainly evict you.

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Another Glorious Day

The weather here has been just gorgeous for the last three weeks, to the extent that I think we have forgotten what rain looks like. Its turning colder at nights now and the wind is rising evenings too, so I'd say we're not long for a real autumn, but still, a glorious September does shorten the winter. This morning the air was so clear I could see Nephin Beg, clear down through Mayo!

I love that golden light that bathes the landscape coming up to sunset. I went out and stood on the wall to take the photos but albeit from a lower elevation it is exactly the view from all three rooms on the front of the cottage...am I lucky or what???!

Friday, 12 September 2014

Ya Couldn't Make It Up!

Earlier this week I was early for an appointment in town so I looked about for somewhere to sit. The early morning sunshine had that lovely autumn tinge and a freshness to the air so I sat me down on the Courthouse steps. I was sitting there singing through a piece of music I'm working on and people walking past on their business when one of the town drunks ambled to a stop in front of me.

(Yes I know some of them, living in the centre of town a while I got to know and enjoy all sorts of  irregular people.)

Anyhow he stops and weaves about trying to focus on me and after a minute asks anxiously, 'Are you alright there?'

'Arrah yes, I'm fine thanks. I'm not waiting to go inside if you're concerned.'

'Well that's grand.' And off he ambles...

Dacency en't entirely lost so it isn't.

Monday, 8 September 2014

Overheard in Conversation

Last Friday a friend and I decided to have a night on the town. Her husband was heading out to a Session with friends and we had worked hard enough for one week. She had decided  we would try out the new(ish) cocktail bar, Lillies, and catch a late night film, the new Helen Mirren one 'The Hundred Foot Journey'...in that order so I would be sober to drive home...that was the theory!

It was a great evening and a very late one, ending up at her place with her husband entertaining us with his version of Comedy Hour. As he is ill and his good days can be counted on one hand it was an absolute gift of an evening.

Anyhow yesterday after Church I was telling an elderly lady the story and recommending the film and generally having a chit chat. After turning away I overheard her telling another friend in penetrating tones: 'Oh H. is fine, she had a great time at the Bordello on Friday night.'

Sheesh! That's my reputation scuppered!

Wednesday, 3 September 2014


A spot of foraging doesn't half lift the spirits!

Last evening I decided that the brambles along the roadway really needed their loads lightening, so after paying the rent I picked and grazed my way back home. (The rent book was put to excellent use fending off nettles which got in the way).

Then, leaving berries and rent book on the wall I climbed over the gate to see what my cottage looked like from the back, don't you find things are often quite alien if you look at them from a different angle?

Unfortunately (for you) I didn't have my camera with me, fortunately for me as I fell into a bit of a quagmire! I waded and slithered around the back yard and found an old boreen, a lot of fallen sticks and branches and a good bit of mud, also some midges. So this is what I returned with:

 A potential water butt, two (not very old) useful bottles for putting flowers in, a couple of fires' worth of sticks and:
Specially valuable loot
...an old tin pan suitable for use as an ash bucket, as well as the blackberries, of course.

Not bad huh? Saved me the price of an ash bucket, two bags of kindling and fruit for dessert and breakfast...I'll have to see how to rig up the water butt. And what did it cost me? A few hours of enjoyment clambering up and down the ditches, through a bit of a marshy patch in the peace and quiet of a windless evening discovering the lay and remains of the old homestead I'm living on. And some midge bites I suppose.

It can be a good life sometimes.

I must remember that.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Good Day/ Bad Day

Do you ever find that if something really good happens, particularly unexpectedly, then something bad often happens just afterwards, usually the next day?

Sometimes I wonder if its God making sure I don't get cocky, or, when I was younger I used to think I was being punished for having too much fun.... Now I wonder whether it is just about balance or what-goes-up must-come-down-ish-ness.

I'm not talking small good, or a touch of luck, or even small inconveniences, but the bigger ones you are grateful/ungrateful for.

Yesterday I got a bus south and had a really nice day out with an acquaintance, lunch, walk, talk, listening, a laugh, interesting...one of those days you fix in your memory as a bright marker. The sort of day which comes round once every few months if I'm lucky, though now I think about it I had a similar lovely afternoon with another friend in August so maybe I really was pushing my luck. And then today started middling and disintegrated badly, with 'words'. You know, those kind of 'words'?

A pattern I can identify over and over in my life, so much so that its rarely I look forward to anything or let myself really enjoy myself for fear of the re-payment. Tell me that's daft, I know it.

So now I'm looking at the map of Ireland trying to triangulate the farthest distance between here and Dublin on one line and somewhere I could move to on the far apex...I'm wondering about Dingle or Valentia Island? If one was allowed to reside on the Blasket Islands I would certainly consider them. Somewhere really difficult to get to which preferably has no mobile phone coverage and too stormy to permit telegraph lines...I'll keep looking...


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