Things My Mother Never Told Me...

...but I probably should have realised?

Children only seem to move out. When you least expect it, up they pop.

They may pack their 'stuff', empty their room (and the fridge and the kitchen utensils drawers and the bathroom toiletries), say 'bye' most cheerfully and you think 'ah! the place to myself' till mid-term/ Easter/ Christmas/ or whatever, put up your feet, get out all the books you have hidden to read in peace...and a week or so later they text 'c u @ wknd'.

I have to say that one good thing about my girls is that they seldom bring their laundry since my drying facilities are along the lines of the Widow Twankey's, i.e. draped round the kitchen, but they waltz in with comments like:

Where's the spare towels? why d'you move them?
Can you just run me into town to see...and I'll call you when I want collecting...taxis out to your place are so dear, you know that.
Where's the bread I left in the freezer? She ate it? Huh!
Have you no biscuits?
Where's the second book of that trilogy you were reading? Can you finish it please by tomorrow as I was really hoping to take them with me?
Did you move my shampoo? No I didn't take it (frantic rummage)...oh maybe I did.
I can't find the muffin pan...she took it? Well she shouldn't have as it was yours and anyhow I wanted to take it back with me.
I can't find your black cardigan, I'll take your red one it'll do and your black shoes, you won't be needing them til after Christmas. (which Christmas?)
And I need a spare duvet cover and some pillowcases as I've friends coming to visit...

You get the drift right?
And then I think of all the parents who would love their children to visit.
And then I look at my depleted wardrobe and wonder why I only ever have the really tatty clothes left...

...and the depleted fridge...bathroom...linen press...and I haven't even catalogued the sewing notions which have disappeared...

I am grateful, really, I love 'em...but I'm still waiting for that empty nest syndrome 'they' speak of, its more like overflowing borrow syndrome around here!

Is 'no' a real word?

Seen In The Kitchen

Ok, so this is so ridiculous that you will either howl laughing or delete me:

The other night in the pitch black I got up to the loo, and because it was pitch black I didn't put on my glasses. At the bathroom door a strange glow emanating from the kitchen caught my bleary eyes and after sniffing to check for fire, (no smell) I decided that to investigate without glasses would be pure stupid.

So back to get (and put on) my glasses.

Return to the kitchen. There's a weird glow around the fridge....oh my goodness, the weird glow is around the door of the fridge!

At this point I am aware that most normal people would think, 'Oh I must have left the fridge door slightly open, darn!'

But NO! What did Heckety think? 'Heck, there's Aliens in my fridge!'

And whereas most normal people, especially in the middle of the night, would turn on the light, go over, and push the door closed....what did I do?

I crept over, in the dark, and quietly opened the door to see what the Aliens were doing...??


Of course the punch line would be that they were stealing the cheese to create a new moon for their planet...but actually even I had to admit that there was nothing in my fridge except a problem with the rubber door seal.

Oh dear.