Things My Mother Never Told Me...

...but I probably should have realised?

Children only seem to move out. When you least expect it, up they pop.

They may pack their 'stuff', empty their room (and the fridge and the kitchen utensils drawers and the bathroom toiletries), say 'bye' most cheerfully and you think 'ah! the place to myself' till mid-term/ Easter/ Christmas/ or whatever, put up your feet, get out all the books you have hidden to read in peace...and a week or so later they text 'c u @ wknd'.

I have to say that one good thing about my girls is that they seldom bring their laundry since my drying facilities are along the lines of the Widow Twankey's, i.e. draped round the kitchen, but they waltz in with comments like:

Where's the spare towels? why d'you move them?
Can you just run me into town to see...and I'll call you when I want collecting...taxis out to your place are so dear, you know that.
Where's the bread I left in the freezer? She ate it? Huh!
Have you no biscuits?
Where's the second book of that trilogy you were reading? Can you finish it please by tomorrow as I was really hoping to take them with me?
Did you move my shampoo? No I didn't take it (frantic rummage)...oh maybe I did.
I can't find the muffin pan...she took it? Well she shouldn't have as it was yours and anyhow I wanted to take it back with me.
I can't find your black cardigan, I'll take your red one it'll do and your black shoes, you won't be needing them til after Christmas. (which Christmas?)
And I need a spare duvet cover and some pillowcases as I've friends coming to visit...

You get the drift right?
And then I think of all the parents who would love their children to visit.
And then I look at my depleted wardrobe and wonder why I only ever have the really tatty clothes left...

...and the depleted fridge...bathroom...linen press...and I haven't even catalogued the sewing notions which have disappeared...

I am grateful, really, I love 'em...but I'm still waiting for that empty nest syndrome 'they' speak of, its more like overflowing borrow syndrome around here!

Is 'no' a real word?

Slow Clothing....Huh?

I've heard of Ethical Fashion and Up-cycled garments, customising and altering, donating unwanted clothes to charities or what's that swapping clothes movement called...you know what I mean...but Slow Clothing??? Really??Makes it sound like if I move too fast for my clothes I'll leave them behind...d'you think I should start keeping on my pyjamas underneath my clothes in future? For the sake of the unsuspecting public, you know?

But wait! You haven't heard the exact definition of Slow Clothing yet, as per the dubious Wikipedia (I like Wikipedia, just heard others slagging it):

The term "Slow Fashion" was coined by Kate Fletcher in 2007...based on the same principals of the Slow Food Movement, as the alternative to mass produced clothing.

Some examples of slow fashion practices include:

• Opposing and boycotting mass produced fashion.
• Choosing artisan products to support smaller businesses, fair trade and locally-made clothes.
• Buying secondhand or vintage clothing and donating unwanted garments.
• Choosing clothing made with sustainable, ethically-made or recycled fabrics.
• Choosing quality garments that will last longer, transcend trends (a "classic" style), and be repairable.
• Doing it yourself - making, mending, customising, altering, and up-cycling your own clothing.
• Slowing the rate of fashion consumption: buying fewer clothes less often.

The Slow Fashion movement is a unified representation of all the "sustainable", "eco", "green", and "ethical" fashion movements...A key phrase repeatedly heard in reference to Slow Fashion is "quality over quantity"...slowing down the rate of clothing consumption by choosing garments that last longer.

Bet ya didn't know that then?!! Or, like me, yous all did, but thought it was called 'thrift' or (shock! horror!) COMMON SENSE!!!!

So now, all of us stingy dressers who buy our clothes in Boutique de Charity and re-wear our garments until we are simply stitching the mended parts together, can refer to ourselves as being part of the ultra-trendy ethical Slow Fashion Movement!

Oh my family are soooo gonna expire laughing over this notion!!!

Staff Night Out Out Out...

Last Friday we decided to have a Staff Night Out. Its a week and a bit until the end of term but it seems that people have plans already for next weekend. There was a scramble to book a table for thirteen (unlucky for nobody this time) and, despite extreme weariness all round, out we went.

One minor problem arose though when I went to get dressed: its so long since I last needed the oul' Glad Rags that they appear to have disappeared...evaporated...rotted away?

Smart jeans? Check (luckily I have the largest arse in the West, so no competition for my jeans).

Black tee-shirt? (after a long search, and discovery of crumpled remains) check.

Good sandals????? Nowhere to be found, so wore school shoes.

Old plum-coloured jacket which I made for a cousin's wedding? Check (home made, no temptation)

Funky necklaces? Gone.

Dangly earrings? One old pair I wore in College discovered, any others....c'est disparu...

Good black handbag? Gone.

Black pashmina? Gone.

Eventually I found an old leather bag, which was actually the treat to myself on receiving my first teacher's paycheck! I scrubbed the mould off on the bedspread!!


I'd be the first to admit that clothes aren't really my thing. If its comfortable, clean and has most of its buttons its just fine. Shoes ditto- coupla €4 footwear from Penny's, one good pair for winter, (communal) gumboots, flip-flops and ye olde sheepskin slippers make me happy. I don't like having loads of stuff, besides which I only ever wear flats.
Jewellery? The good stuff I've inherited, a €1.50 pearl string, some couple of nice earrings I've collected over the years, some lovely malachite from Kenya when it was still affordable...oh and  dozens of jangly cheapo Indian bangles from Nairobi, all please me very much.

Like most mothers I guess I've spent anything extra on the girls and taken my pleasure in having them dressed well. I think they're gorgeous and I love seeing what they make of themselves now, although in years past I used to dress make for them and loved doing that too.

So no sour grapes girls...BUT I REALLY WANT MY THINGS BACK!

Having said all that, I had a great evening...and morning! It was nearly 1am by the time I'd delivered friends home after a lengthy, rowdy and hilarious meal at the French Restaurant in town. (As the non-drinking driver the Noddy car is regularly called into taxi service, the only time anyone is ever polite to him!!!)

Which all goes to prove that...'Its not what you do, its the way that you do it!' which counts....and ...clothes maketh not the woman!!!!


P.S. If my things don't come back soon I jolly well going to go and spend the girls' next months' pocket on myself at Vicki's shop 'Glass River Jewellry' and tough cookies to the lot of 'em!

Hmmmm...

Note to self:

When attempting to speed dry school uniform on the kitchen range, ensure ALL spills have been THOROUGHLY cleaned away before laying out clothes...


Eh? sez you.

You don't want to know! sez I.