Wednesday, 30 May 2012

A Glorious Career!

A friend sent me this story in an email and I thought it was ace- I wish I could think on my feet like this woman!

A woman, renewing her driver's license, was asked by the woman at Registry to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
'What I mean is,' explained the woman at Registry, 'do you have a job or are you just a .....?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.'

'We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself In the same situation.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'City Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out)
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).

But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more

Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.'

What a glorious career!

Thursday, 24 May 2012

Of A Cuckoo

If you think about it the Cuckoo has some unfortunate sayings attached to herself. The two which spring to mind are 'going cuckoo' and 'a cuckoo in the nest'. See? Wouldn't that annoy you if it was yourself??

There have been studies lately about the migratory habits of cuckoos, and we were all brought up on stories of their charming habit of laying eggs in other birds nests and then their hatchling turfing out the legitimate heirs and gobbling all it can get, Goldilocks eat yer heart out...

But DESPITE all that, when the cuckoo arrives on our hilltop and starts calling from the forest it is the most cheerful sound! Its like the first daffodil, I know that the seasons will eventually change and just for a moment my heart flies upwards. She's been with us nearly three weeks now and every morning and evening I listen for her- come rain or shine her 'cuckoo' echoes.

Judging from what I've heard, we're the lucky ones to hear her, some folks haven't heard a cuckoo in years. I do hope she keeps returning.

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Epitome of Laziness... managing to darn my cardigan without actually taking it off!!

So what's your definition of laziness? Ah no, let's call it an LSD (Labour Saving Device!)

Come on people! Admit to your most spectacular LSDs.....

Friday, 11 May 2012

Thank You for the Reminder!

I was visiting cyberbuddies earlier and came across Gran's quote by Erma Bombeck. Its about looking back on one's life without regrets- do pop over and read it? Even though you probably know it well, its one of those 'life quotes' it is good to remember.

I came across it years ago when the girls were little, and I decided then and there that as a mother I would be able to look back and have no regrets. Believe it or not (!) I do think its one thing I have achieved. Despite not always being well, or even able to leave the house to go to all their 'doings', I have thoroughly enjoyed and made the most of them...and continue to do so...which is why I love having all their friends around too.

I think I'm lucky that I learned that lesson so early because I have all the memories and experiences that matter....for instance....

At this moment Eldest is doing yoga on the kitchen floor whilst discussing the Anglo-Irish Treaty of 1921 with Youngest...who is trying to do a Vulcan mind-meld with Wily Coyote (Eldest's Boyfriend) who is a History man...Middlest says she is updating her CV but I'm pretty sure she is watching Game of Thrones online. And if the Fluffster doesn't move soon he's going to cut off the electric supply to the laptop! Youngest has decided that Small Smell should learn to read, but even for a dog I think that starting reading with a political document is pushing the boundaries somewhat!

Life as we know it!

Lucky me!

Wednesday, 9 May 2012


By the time you read this (oh! the joys of writing and scheduling posts in advance, makes me feel so in control and organised!!) the Hub will have finished and emailed the final assignments of his Theology Course. He has 'only' been doing it since February 2011, but heck! it feels like its been going on for several years.

I really admire people who go back to College as mature students. I admire people who do 'distance learning' courses and achieve their dreams. I admire people who want to make the most of opportunities, or catch up on chances they missed when they were younger, and all the other reasons which go with further study.

So why is it that when the Hub takes on a course my heart sinks and I just know its going to be hell on wheels for the duration? Its the same when he's in a Show, or Play...and even with his Church commitments. Why can't I think 'Wow! isn't he's great?', as so many people keep telling me. Instead this last course has brought me closer to throwing in the towel than ANY of his previous activities.
I have a friend who once observed that Georghette Heyer's novels did all girls everywhere the greatest disservice by introducing them to such wonderfully romantic heros could possibly live up to! At the time I thought it was quite a funny thing to say, but now I'm a bitchy ould besom I'm beginning to see what she meant!!

OK. End of pity party.

Monday, 7 May 2012

Thunks Thoughted

So there was I reading the latest Permaculture Magazine and just sitting and thunkin' about Life, the Universe and Everything, and I thunkded, so I did, about all those fearfully amazing folk out there who live in them Sustainable Communities and do a great job of living lightly on this ould planet of ours and puttin' the rest of us to ballyshame an' all.

And I sez to me Hub (yon Grouch), sez I, I'm thunken of spending the summer living in a commune.

Commune was the wrong word to use as he immediately answered with, Oooh! running around naked all summer and free love and that?

Blinkin'HECK! Why does he always go straight for the sex and skin? Grrr.

I think maybe community living might have been a better description, or living close to the land maybe? Like Tinker's Bubble, or Findhorn, or some other amazing place.

And I stood in my kitchen and surveyed the dish-washer (Hub's must have), the washing machine (my must have), the fridge, kettle, bread machine, toaster, microwave, cassette player, juicer, iron, phone...and I just feel sick inside. Living lightly- my...hat! Recycling, composting, growing some vegetables (mostly rhybarb, garlic and dandelions), being thrifty, mending and making do with my clothes? Whats the good of such small acts in the grand scheme of things?

And this house- one daughter left at home and all the things in it? Books, CDs, videos, TV, clothes, computer, furniture- its all just so full of STUFF. Remember awhile ago I said I was going to reduce the level of unused stuff we have and find homes for things? Well I have been, honest, and still am, but the level doesn't seem to drop much. Added to which, whenever I'm 'down' I splurge in the second hand book shop- oh how they love me!

What is it with us and things? We have a surfeit while others go short and still we think we need more to make our homes just perfect, just one more cushion, candle, pretty plate, mug set, pot plant, yadda yadda.

Gotta break the cycle...perhaps living naked for a summer really would put things in perspective?...hmmmm...nah- not going to that extreme.

So, how about communal living for the summer? Or would I just end up driving everyone as crazy frustrated as I am myself?

Friday, 4 May 2012

What did you say your name was???

I know I've grouched about this before but I'm reiterating it (good word 'reiterating', makes me sound hedumecated huh?!)...I really have a problem with people who, in their blog profiles, describe themselves as something along the lines of :

an ultra-busy stay-at-home mom of seven children under the age of five (one set of triplets and two sets of twins),
wife to a fabulously supportive God-fearing man whose hobby is hoovering and cleaning, when he is not reading to or playing with his children,
daughter-in-law to the most gentle, kind and helpful woman the Good Lord ever made who is helpmeet to a wonder mechanic and handyman always ready to aid and assist his family,
owner of five dogs (two of them Great Danes), two horses, a cocktail of hens and five acres of landscaped gardens which are open to the public twelve months of the year.

She home schools the children, has an immaculate home which is regularly featured in 'Homes & Gardens' (or would that be Hello! magazine?), is renowned for her amazing twelve course meals (is there such a thing?), and all this without any home or garden help at all, except for her superfantabulous husband, of course.

In her spare time she crafts and quilts, and the blog is a diary of her daily creations, (oh did I mention that she was a well-known artist and photographer before her marriage and ascent into domestic blissitude?)
There then follows the most choc-a-bloc cyber gallery of increasingly fabulous and intricate workmanship- origami, Baltimore quilts, candle dipping, enamel work, wood-turning and pottery, (any one of which are good enough to be given to the Queen on her next birthday) which she dabbles at in her spare time...(all professionally photographed by herself in her own home studio).

AAAAARRRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!Sour grapes? Moi?

And I think to myself, 'What a wonderful world!'

I'm going to go change my profile RIGHT NOW! Since I can't truthfully beat 'em or join 'em, I'll just have to be contrary!

Wednesday, 2 May 2012


I realise that this may sound really peculiar, especially to any new readers who are not conversant with my unpredictable family, or anyone who is accidentally passing through, but I honestly don't think that all the laundry in the wash actually belongs to the regular inhabitants of this house...

For starters, the amount of laundry I have been working through since late last week is of truly epic proportions, even for the girls, and secondly, I don't recognise some of it at all! We have had a few visitors lately, friends of the girls, and Middlest did bring back a veritable Everest of washing last week from her room at school, but even those points don't explain it.

Do you think its possible for someone to be breaking in whilst I'm at work and dumping their clothes and linen in our laundry basket? I've heard of laundry thieves who rob things off clothes lines, but have you ever come across someone who deposits their laundry in someone else's wash basket? Sort of like a 'laundy cuckoo' I suppose?

Me just who do these jeans and tee-shirts belong to?

Its a mystery! (but a clean one!)


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