Darn Cold May

I may have previously mentioned that I don't mind darning or mending clothes. If it fits me and I like it I wear it until it has more patches than my car... except that welding bits on to jeans can become uncomfortable...I won't say I am particularly good at mending, but I wield the ould needle with enthusiasm, in aid of my own apparel and that of friends who ask.

I have to admit though that I consider darning, in particular, a winter sport. (If they had a darning competition in the Winter Olympics I would enter for sure!) So therefore, on May 19th when it should be nearly summer, I am strongly objecting to having had to darn my driving gloves.

The fact that I tore them and they began to unravel is simply one of life's little trials.
The fact that on May 19th the weather remains so cold as to make driving gloves necessary is another matter entirely.

If anyone has a direct line to the Great Weather Co-Ordinator please would they send me the email, Skype or mobile number in the reply box. I would be infernally grapeful as I have a strong complaint to be making.

Thank you.

Running Out

What would you do if you knew that your time was running out (your own, not a friend's or a family member's, difficult as that is, I know)?

Think about it...

Would you rush to cram in all the things you'd planned for the next thirty years and wouldn't now have the ability for?
Would you take it easier in the anticipation of making your body last a few years longer and hope that at a slower pace you could achieve some quality of living, albeit not precisely what you had planned?
Would you be so swamped with hopeless plans that total inertia would ensue?
Would you give up?
Would you ignore the situation and carry on living as normally as possible until your body put you in a wheelchair?

If there is one thing I have recently learned it is that being brave, positive, supportive of a friend and daughter in their illness is a far, far easier thing (and its still tough as hell) than being brave and positive for oneself.

A friend who has cancer decided that he would climb the four highest peaks in Britain and Ireland. Whether he reaches the top is irrelevant to the project, he will climb as far as he can. He is in Kerry at the moment with a crowd of friends, different friends for each peak! He is having a whale of a time, motivating and inspiring everyone around him which is truly amazing to see.

I know I refer to Eldest and her fibromyalgia from time to time, but she continues to amaze me with her determination that despite being crippled with pain and needing constant support and help with everyday tasks and living, this condition is not going to remove her future. At present she is back at University doing a Masters, hoping to be qualified for a more sedentary career, its not her dream but she adapts.

We all know of other people, young, old, not so old, who have suddenly had their futures diverted through illness and unlooked for disability. Some of them turn into amazing people who inspire others, I guess everyone has their level which they need to find.

Perhaps we can look at it as a shot across the bows, an early warning that one is not immortal (did we think we were?) and had better get on with real living. Maybe we are the lucky ones, others have their lives snuffed out with no warning who were definitely not ready to go.

People say 'where's there's life there's hope', but have they have ever considered how it would be living with chronic, debilitating, incurable, long-term pain knowing exactly the prognosis and the destination, if not the time frame? Can they imagine waking up every single morning (if indeed they have slept) feeling they have simultaneously been beaten up, run a marathon, got early Alzheimer's and maybe a dose of 'flu?

We can be cheerful, optimistic, smile when we can't move, try not to break other people's crockery or fall over in public and embarrass you, we can take well meaning useless advice and platitudes with a gracious smile, and judgemental attitudes with an even wider gracious teeth grit, we don't look ill so we can pretend for your sake that this disease is temporary because we know your mind can not contend with our problems, we can try not to resent your comments that since we are looking good and laughing we must be 'better', but still we know there is no hope for improvement, the pain is turning our brain to mush and our time is running out.

Go with your happy optimism, we will try to buy into it where we can but please do not presume to know what it is to be us.

And yet, underneath the pain, disability, fear, endurance, black humour, we remain the same person we always were.

Welcome to our new world.

Potted Kitchen

The other day I bought me a shelf for the kitchen because there just isn't enough storage...

well, ok, maybe I have too much gardening junk...

and the trouble with gardening junk is that it's so bulky and messy:

So for the moment it is relatively tidy, or at least compact in its untidiness!

 

But hey! Look what I found after I had finished:

 I have a kitchen table! And there was me thinking it was a potting bench under all that 'shtuff'!!

 

Ya sure do live and learn!!

Ramson Pancakes

Do you know ramsons, otherwise known as wild garlic?

Well they are just coming to the end of their season about now, but for the last few weeks I have been picking the leaves for salads. Verra tasty! Then I saw a recipe for adding ramson leaves to pancake batter:

It was delish! And you know that virtuous feeling when you've achieved something really good without paying for it??? Added bonus!

 

It was such a wet, cold day that I ate my lunch by the fire. 





Total decadence so!!

The Seasonal Order of Merlin

Are we there yet?
Is the Winter over?
Can I make like a tulip and stick my head above the blanket?
Is it safe?

I know we had nearly three weeks of glorious sun and heat in April but the last week has been back to temperatures below freezing, torrential rain, hail and sleet, howling wind and wearing every sweater I own all at the same time...and I own a LOT of ganseys let me tell you!

The daffodils had the best of it, tulips and cherry blossoms have been flattened and blown away, even the bluebells have turned white in horror:

Frightened bluebells.

I think we are having the seasons in Merlin's order (ie. reverse) this year; summer, spring (sort of) and now winter.
Right so, I'll be off for another spot of hibernation then!

P.S. I was reliably informed by a three year old today that if you wear your gumboots indoors when you are not supposed to then you should walk backwards to stop the floor getting dirty.

Useful piece of info, I thought...