Christmas Cake Recipe

 

You'll need the following:

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle of whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again.
To be sure it's the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixerer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK.

Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

(A friend found this online and passed it around the Staffroom today. Seems as good a recipe as any really?)

Of Heckety's Cooking

I just made a batch of Drop Scones/ Flapjacks. Very tasty, and to my non-gluten requirements. Youngest came over to have a look, and test one, and remarked:


‘Ah, Carbon Flapjacks!’

She had a point. When I turned around from the stove, visibility in the kitchen was a bit low…

Still, it’s always good to know that the smoke alarm is working… and with my cooking it does get a regular workout!

Actually, I used to have a cross-stitch hanging in the kitchen which said:

'Dinner will be served when the smoke alarm goes off.'

I should re-hang it....