You know its long gone time to clean when:
The dust Bunnies are having grandchildren
Spiders on the window ledges don’t just roll over and play dead; they turn their back on you and keep spinning
The house plants have cobwebs
There’s mould growing on the shoe pile at the bottom of the stairs
Even the cobwebs are dusty
The yoghurt pot of nettle tips you picked and brought in a few weeks ago to keep the flies away have grown to nearly 8” tall- on the dregs of the rinsed out yoghurt?
The dogs have run off with the floor rugs so many times that even they have forgotten where they are
The potted ivy has grown over and completely obscured the vacuum cleaner- ah shame!
You’ve lost the best tablecloth and it isn’t until you clear the dining table of accumulated leftover homework and end of term school projects that you discover the table cloth has been there all the time
You can’t remember the colour of the bedroom carpet
You have to lift the lid of the goldfish tank to check whether the fish are still inside because you can’t see through the glass for green algae- scrap this, the goldfish have cleaned up the glass themselves…its amazing what can be achieved with a bit of windolene and a chamois cloth, even when you’re a fish
The utility room is unusable due to the amount of re-cycling waiting to be taken to the quays
you could have sworn there were five humans and two dogs living in the house with you but you haven’t seen a soul for weeks now…
You decide to go stay with your sister for a week to get away from it all…and you can’t find the front door to leave...