Queen of the Castle: Week 7

And welcome once more to the irregular Queen of the Castle weekly post...Midge will probably make some joke about my being highly irregular, but I will put my metaphorical nose in the air and carry on! Colletta has done a summary here, if you'd like to read it...


This week is about prioritising one's activities between Urgent and Important, thereby giving oneself time to do the activities which are of true value.

Well Ha! Ha! How many of us actually find it easy to discern between the two? Trivial stuff is easy to recognise, even if we get hung up on it. Really important stuff is also fairly easily recognised...(does laundry come into that category? Hmmm, only when its school uniforms!!) But the rest of one's daily life????

LBW gives plenty of examples of what is urgent, important, and Bible passages where people have failed to be discerning- the most well known being Mary and Martha, Luke Ch 10 v 39-42, but the only really helpful observation I found was this:

'Decline the good in order to accept the best... stay on course, reaching the destination God has mapped out...for us.'

Knowing that I need to follow God's will is not the problem, its the discernment of 'how' which I find difficult.
Which is the truly important thing out of all the things I'm 'supposed' to do?
Which is the best use of my time?
Which person needs the most help?
Which person can really do with out my input?
How do I choose between a fellow Christian's need and witnessing by my actions to someone far from God?

I could go on, but I won't! All LBW's advice on these questions is to pray, and a verse from Ephesians Ch 5 v 15-17, which ends...

'...but understand what the will of the Lord is.'


BUT THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM, WOMAN!!

I think I've been praying for discernment for the last donkey's number of years, and so far my track record leaves a whole lot to be desired...but perhaps, perhaps....in retrospect... I've been mistaking endurance for discernment...

Sooo, my prayer for this week is...

Lord, please teach me the difference between discernment and endurance; I'm sure there must be one? In fact, Lord, while I'm on the subject, I really need to learn to pray more effectively.

Now THERE'S a challenge for our Lord!!

Queen of the Castle: Week 2

Welcome to this Week's episode of 'Queen of the Castle'! (picture won't load, sorry)
In which we read Chapter 2, and discover about over-commitment, non-conforming and how to fly!

Colletta's post summarises the Chapter beautifully, so please go visit her to know what it is about: these are just my own thoughts...

Review on last week: Improving the Balance of my Life...

Total disaster! Ended up with me furious, the Hub mad, and Youngest in a sulk. Appears they didn't really want to be 'focused on' and I resented the fact they didn't appreciate the effort I was putting in....

Yeah, yeah, stupid, selfish, unnecessary...we've returned to drifting, but with clean laundry, and I'm trying to space out the chores better for myself...

Now, this week:

What LBW writes about not over committing outside the home is a fine theory, but in practise it's not always that straightforward. I totally agree with her priorities- God, then family, then community, but sometimes the time ratio between those three does not reflect that.
I have given this much thought over the years since I had Eldest, and there are two basic categories that, to me, can and often do, tip the time and commitment balance, and they can be of equal weight.

Sometimes the 'need' you see in the community is simply your call, but answering it will affect your whole family?

To give a personal illustration, as a part-time school teacher, I am involved in the lives of quite literally nearly two hundred children (not including past pupils, now teenagers, who continue to stop and talk, chat, discuss things). When a problem or emergency arises, by default, as a mother and teacher, I can often be involved. When teenagers fall out with their parents they need their friends to be there for them.
All these times of service I count as my call, and my privilege, and my children are invariably involved.

Which leads to my second consideration, that sometimes, as your own children stagger through their teenage years, you need to have other young people around in order to cope with your own! Its easier to get five to turn off the TV, sit down for a proper meal and discuss things, than one. And sometimes, all they need is a safe environment to be themselves and the issues simply melt away!

I don't suggest that LBW means to turn away from one's Christian duty, but its just that some homes are more of a Community Center than others!

I do like the paragraph at the end which tells us we can all be different and not to compare yourself to others. This I find difficult.
Other Mothers always seem to-
be more organised,
be better dressed,
have cleaner cars,
have tidy sitting rooms,
have children who practise their music without a row and do neat handwriting,
and create a wonderful first impression when you arrive at their homes with weed free entrances.

That's before you even look into their kitchens, which are immaculate...heck! even their dogs behave!
This, I can work on...

And finally, the Bible verse for the week, which made me laugh out loud:

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

(So far, yes, absolutely...)

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.

(...and I get this, that the Lord holds up those without the strength to hold themselves...)

They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

(...Oh yes? OH YES? Its very beautiful imagery, but along the lines of flying pigs!
Now, if Isaiah had finished with something like...

'Flying pigs will they see flapping round their homes;
they will run and run and although weary unto death
they will, with God's grace, keep on running,
they will walk and stagger and faint
and the Lord will pick them up and carry them.'

...that would have been more realistic to us homemakers!)

So this week I will try to keep up with the nitty gritty of the chores,
and not compare myself to all the other Mary Poppins 'practically-perfect-in-every-way' mothers out there!

Oh! And about that suggestion to leave the Hub with the home for a weekend? You've got to be kidding! I'd be traded in for a more compliant model in the blink of an eye!

One of my friends once asked her husband: 'What did your last servant die of?'
Back came the reply: 'Insubordination.'

Says it all really...

Queen of the Castle: Week 1

Colletta is running this 'project' and I sure do mean running, as to me anything to do with housekeeping, homemaking, managing, wifelification, home economist, home engineer, and all that jazz, is more of a marathon than an everyday occurrence.

Colletta has done a lovely introduction to the book, which you can read here, so I shan't repeat it, but just add my thoughts.
The first observation which made an impression on me was the conflict between the worldly view of a homemaker and the Godly woman's view of the same. Its difficult not to succumb to the worldly view often and often, I have found.

How many times has any Mother felt worthless, or useless, or on the wrong path, or just plain inferior, because she chooses to not work outside the home...as if there isn't a million times more work inside the home! How many of us have, or know friends, with small children, invalid family members, elderly parents or in-laws, who help with Sunday Schools and Church activities, Mothers' Union, look after working mothers' children after school or when they are sick, keep open house,and are then regularly envied because we 'do nothing' all day?

I have to laugh, really I do!

The women with the salaries, do they have to patch the bath towels, knit dishcloths from string, cut down clothes for another child to wear, grow their own veg, and scan every article on 'Thrifty Housekeeping' to cross their paths?
Heck! We are the ones who should be writing the Thrifty Housekeeping articles; it may be a 'life choice' for the salary earners, but its a way of life for us homemakers!

The second thing which struck me in the course of reading Chapter One was the realisation that I don't think I have my attitude in balance at all.
If I am a homemaker then what exactly are my priorities, after my God?
Husband.
Children.
Parents, brother and sisters.
And then the wider community; Church members, School staff and children, friends.
And finally, when all else is done, any projects like the Etsy Shop and commissions, and personal projects.

I have let the order become skewed, with School taking precedence over home, and the Shop rising slowly up the list of priorities.
Wrongly so.

So this week my aim is to redress the balance, in my own head as well as in my actions. To look after the family members with my whole heart rather than resent the time they take away from making dolls or playing with fabric.

Small aim, perhaps...but as L.B.W. says in the first Chapter- eternal repercussions!

To Resolute or Not and a New Treasury

I've been playing around on Etsy and made a new Treasury of some things we'd all need for a good night in, or even for hibernating!

Let it Rain, Blow, Snow

And about that other thing we all do in the New Year, that dodgy issue...Resolutions...

I've some new ideas which will hopefully be of interest to yez all, but for the second year in a row I am avoiding making any actual Resolutions. Its not that I disagree with them on principle, its just that since I seldom manage to keep them, why waste the effort of thinking them up?!

But on the other hand, I would like to achieve a more balanced daily life, so perhaps that should be a Resolution?
Colletta had the idea to do a sort of project along those lines through the year and I went and got the book: there's a fairly grey line between 'good intentions' and 'resolutions', isn't there!

And finally, something Nikon Sniper posted during Christmas week...if this doesn't fill your heart...well...what can I say?!