Cynical, Snarky, Moi?

Once upon a time there was a Princess and she fell in love with a Prince. Then another woman came along who also fancied the Prince so she charmed the pants off him, well not literally, with a magic potion, silly. So the Prince thought it was great having two dumb females after him and played it for all he was worth.

The Princess wept and wailed and gnashed her pearly white teeth and tried all sorts of ways to win back the Prince. He was too into himself to realise he was not just playing with fire, but also chucking away a diamond so he could play with Frosties.

One fine day, actually it was teeming with rain, the Princess blew her nose, squared her shoulders and thought 'stuff this for a game of thrones'. So she went out and found herself a big black friendly Labrador dog because they are the absolute best, travelled the world, became an eco-warrior, watched re-runs of Star-Trek every evening, wrote dozens of meaningful, inspirational, best-selling novels and had a merry old time. When she wanted company she visited a school and told the children stories about her travels, when she fancied a curry she ate out, and when she got fed up with life she went for a very long walk on the beach with her fabulous dog-person.

The Princess and her dog lived happily ever after and were loved by everyone.

The Prince settled for a boring half life of discontent, malaise and a whole string of greedy wives.

Actually, late in life the Princess may have found a quite ordinary kind man who loved her enough to take her as she was without playing stupid games, but then again that's her private business.

There is no moral to this story except if you watch the 'Mirror, Mirror' film in a bad mood, in which case you'll get the moral without it being explained.

A Fairytale for the Assertive Woman

Today I was clearing out some cupboards which badly needed the attention and found this old chestnut...goodness knows where it came from originally because I have no recollection! I do, however, remember finding it hilariously funny at the time.


Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independant, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating egological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said:

'Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel grateful and happy for doing so.'

That night, as the princess dined sumptiously on an repast of lightly sautéd froglegs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought:

'I don't think so.'