Humans!

Private Letter to the Human Using Our House:

Dear Human,

The snails in the kitchen bees tellin' us that you had been publicatin' epistolaries to us-es, but since they is bein' without opposable thumbses they bees unable to recriprocation.

Thus we bugses is replyin' to yous recently letter.

We bugses be appreciate your acknowlegeishness that we is being here before yous. We bees also appreciatin' yous anxiousness not to troddon us-es.

In the spirit of co-operativeness we bugses will be attemptin' to modification us socialise at the specificationly hours yous mentions, but bees askin' yous understandingness if we overstrays at times. You didna bees mentionin' the music but we will bees endeavourin' to keep it within the bounds of respectability voluminous, and not bees havin' 'The Ugly Bug Ball' on repeat moren one night outta six. Anyhow the moths do bees prefer the sountrack to 'Antz'. Wez wonna be involvin' yous in our inter-bugsesatory disputations.

With thankins for yous continues sufferancingness for us first-people-bugses,

Regardnessification,

BugsesInTheBathroom.

P.S. The Snails would be signin' too if they were havin' opposable thumbses.

The Importance of Being...Posted...

So...you thought yesterday was funny?

Well Heckety struck again.

Inadvertently.

You see the Postbox nearest to school has a bit of a narrow aperture, but since letters tend to be fairly thin its usually fine.

This afternoon after posting a letter rather bulkier than usual I realised half  way down The Mall that I hadn't heard it fall down inside. Now if it had been something boring I would have thought 'stuff it', but it wasn't, it was an envelope of poems written by third class for a competition, very exceedingly ultra important.

Back I went and sure enough I could feel the envelope jammed against the top but couldn't shift it.

Hmmmm...

Hmmmmmmmmm.....

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Ding!

I got out pen and paper and wrote a note to the postman to explain that there was a letter jammed against the top of the letterbox, so please could he retrieve it.

And I posted the note.

One tries. One is trying. One is tried.

One is found wanting.