Saturday, 11 June 2011

Return of the Jed...nut?

Hello people!

Thank you for checking on me in my absence, and the kind thoughts- I really appreciate yous, even though I didn’t answer.

Since Easter chez Heckety, it seems to have been one thing after another and getting Eldest through the last six weeks of College was only the start. Family in hospital (fine again now, thank goodness), several daughter dramas, Youngest’s three fund-raising events for the Church youth trip to South Carolina in July, constant sword play with the Black Beast (way beyond being the Black Dog), increasing panic attacks, and the ruddy agoraphobia which likes to pop in just to spice up my life… basically all the fun of the Fair, without the fun…

Add to that the Hub’s online Theology Course, Youngest’s facebook social life, and my access to the computer has been short and sporadic.

I’m not complaining, as such, just explaining. If manic depression is my lot then my family is more to be pitied than me. In fact I’ve often wondered, and this isn’t morbid, more of an academic question: since I’ve been given this Beast, which turns nearly every day into a battle, why couldn’t I also have been given my best friend’s cancer, or my other great friend’s slow paralysis, and let one of them have complete health and strength? Both have them had so much more yet to offer and such amazing personalities, but such short active lives. Me, I’ve already had a longer life and far less useful.

Ours not to reason why… and I know all about accepting what one is given… but it makes me wonder. Never mind, I’ll get the answer someday!

But even around all that life as we know it continues…hovering under the stairs just now I discovered one of the Nativity Wise Men hidden in the sock basket…huh?
I’d be looking a long way for that come December!

I also caught Hoover Dog making a collection of all three downstairs floor rugs in his favourite sunny spot in the hall. I suppose he thought I wouldn’t notice…like the girls thought I wouldn’t notice them giving away all their clothes to the Goodwill then asking to be taken shopping for new ones…scuppered that one too…

Is it my role in life to be a spoilsport, je me demande????

Anyhow, just so’s you know, I’m trying very hard to glue my mind back together and re-join you cyberbuddies. I mayn’t always be able to go beyond the front door, but you bring the tea and quilt parties into my kitchen and I do sooo enjoy your company!!

I’ve surely missed you!


collettakay said...

I've been wondering about you and worrying that you've been dealing with the "Beast".

As soon as I saw your post, I clicked it to see how all was going.

Praying that you will be feeling "better" and get on some good meds. It can make a WORLD of difference.

Ulla said...

Welcome back, Heckety! We love you as you are.

Amanda said...

Yay! I've been hoping you'd appear again soon. We've missed you. Sorry that the demons are winning at the moment, but I'm sure you'll batter them down a bit before too long. I love the vision of you 'hovering' under the stairs!

Heckety said...

Oh Ha Ha! Missed that correction- makes me sound like a flying saucer!!

Trishia said...

Heather, I have been very caught up on the drama of my own world of late, but can you believe, I was just at the sink rinsing dishes when you popped into my head!!! I have neglected reading everyone's blog --- and for you to pop into my out of nowhere. I told the hubby, Got to check something --- and voila! Here you are again:) Just starting to glue yourself back together. Where I come from, everyone loves 'duct tape.' I'll send you a roll if it will help:) It was just last week that I was talking to someone about my worry that I might have agoraphobia --- I think I just love being a recluse:) But anyway, my weak faith feels uplifted at this 'coincidence', this almost perfect timing --- this connection I feel to someone half way around the world who I've never met. There must indeed be a bigger picture, though we don't know what it is. Anything I can do to help you fight your demons, let me know!!! A BIG HUG from across the water!!


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