You Like Art?

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.'

I had no Monet

To buy Degas

To make the Van Gogh.

See if you have De Gaulle
to send this on to someone else.

I sent it to you because I figured
I had nothing Toulouse !

Opinion Poll:

The question is-

do I remove the truly horrendous cobwebs bedecking my kitchen ceiling,
before the Party,

or do I pretend that they are my one concession to all the Hallowe'en grunge,
and leave them hanging?

Such a moral dilemma!

Staggering Along

Its been a busy week, looking backwards.

Yesterday was our October Bank Holiday, which meant that Eldest came home for the whole weekend! I hadn't seen her since early August, although the others had all been to Dublin for one reason or another in the meantime. She is very busy, in quite some pain with the arthritis, but keeping cheerful, and with a new man in her life who is even nuttier than her...is that possible???

Sunday, the folks came to Lunch, and although the oven timer failed to work and we returned home from Church to NO smell of roasting chicken, it was eventually all cooked. Minor glitch in the grand scheme.

Friday, Youngest had her School Prize Day, and she won a Choir Prize so was well pleased. A Book Token- always fun to spend! (I should probably help her with that!!)

Monday, Middlest had her tonsils removed, and remained in hospital until Tuesday. Mom kept things running smoothly and also gave us supper in instalments as Middlest didn't want to be left alone. The Nurses and all were lovely, and it was a far more pleasant experience than I feared, but still a little worrying and a bit tiring too. Since then she has needed minding and coaxing to eat, but is well on the mend now. The previous week she decided to defer College for a year and work full-time at her Summer job in Marketing. Its an excellent opportunity but it is difficult to know whether leaving College is the right thing for her to do. She is hoping to return to work this coming Thursday.

Tomorrow Youngest is coming into town early with me to do a Party Shopping session as on Friday she is having an Alice in Wonderland themed Tea Party (guests to arrive in costume by 6pm, collected midnight!). I put the limit of invitations at 20 so goodness knows how many there will actually be. I do not like Hallowe'en and all the horrid stuff that goes on, so for many years now the girls have had an alternative 'Bash' which suits many parents well enough, it seems.

Thursday of this week the Knitting and Stitching Show is on in Dublin and I am hoping to go up to that with the Mother, but right now I'm feeling so exhausted I don't know whether I'll actually get there. I might need to conserve my energy for a houseful of Mad Hatters!

I'll let you know!
Sometime...!
Probably not soon...

Eat Yer Heart Out Bugs Bunny!

Now isn't this a sight for a Bunny's eyes?! The carrot on the left was so perfect I just had to show yez!
Last night we had 'Chunky Soup' for supper, which was basically everything that was left from the summer crop in the veg patch, including my perfect carrot! I felt I should preserve it for immortality somehow, but Youngest thought that was taking the whole veg growing thing a bit too seriously!

I believe this is what is called a 'Swiss Cheese Plant'? My Granny used to have one in her hall and she always referred to it as the 'Cheese and Wine Plant'! So, thinking to add a touch of elegance to the bathroom, I moved Henry in there:

As you can see, he is very happy, which is good, I do love happy plants!

The only 'down' side is that it has recently become necessary to be armed with a machete when you want a bath!

C'est la vie en pays! Everything comes with a price!!

Dis 'n' Dat

Youngest kindly brought home the latest bug from school...and here it is!
Nah! jokin'! I saw it when I was waiting for a lift one day- its he lovely? The photo didn't do him justice as the brown parts were iridescent in the sunshine.

But we have all been down with some horrid 'bug'- guess its the start of winter- whoop-di-doo!

I found this wool in a shop in Ballymote and its lovely and soft, so I'm scarf knitting at the mo.
When Youngest was poorly last week (and before I went down!) she decided she wanted Oreos, so I made these for her:

They sure don't look much like Oreos, but she liked them so that was OK. She's recovered and back at school now, I was going to say she's better...but then I thought,

better than what? and

define better?

so I think I'll leave it at

recovered!!

Of Who's And What's

Did you know that there are different varieties of 'what'?
That not all 'whats' are created equal?
That just because one person says 'what' in this tone of voice, to another person that very same 'what' may mean something entirely different?

You didn't?

Have you never read Dr. Seuss?
Are all Whoo's the same?
When one Whoo answers to one dilemma, does that mean that all Whoos will do likewise?
Is every Whoo a Cindy- Lou? How many Whoos has Horton met?

See?
Its the same with 'whats', sort of...

This was made apparent to me very recently, but now that I have been enlightened I know that I have to share it with yez all.
It happened thus: (all the best stories begin like this...well, second best, perhaps, the best ones being Once Upon A Time, but that beginning is unsuitable in this instance...)

As I was saying, it happened thus:

Middlest rang me up one afternoon in a state of high glee, shrieking, 'Moma! Moma! Guess What?' at me.

So, as one does, I said, 'What?'

And she replied, 'Guess!'

So I guessed, and herein dear fellows, lies the heart of the matter: I guessed wrongly! I guessed, 'You read a book?'

To which the answer, in an exceedingly disgusted tone of voice came, 'It's not THAT sort of WHAT!'


So you see, one lives, one learns, and then one digresses into hyperbole...Thus is the price of having Dr. Seuss read to one from a very early age.

Loo Botanic Gardens

As the nights draw in and temperatures drop, one turns to considering the needs of the non-frost hardy of one's beloved plants.

And, having considered, and decided how many pots need to be housed indoors, one then has to contemplate the placement of such needy individuals.

Therein lies the origin of this post's title.

Presently, my Loo has more similarities to the Palm House at Kew, than to any normal bathroom.

My plants are all delighted...the Hub...weeeeeeelllllllll.....

And in order to house all these winter guests, I've had to move things around a little, especially since it was such a lovely summer that the clivea greeww and had to be re-potted, now verging upon Triffid proportions.

Which is fine, in theory.

Until in an absent-minded moment(very rare...) , one removes one glasses and puts them down where the chair used to be...but is no longer...

...and one discovers to one's horror, that one has dropped one's single connection to the real world into the middle of the pot of TRIFFIDS!!

(one is regrettably most awfully short-sighted)

Well, it took a while, but eventually one managed to wrest them specs from that dratted tentacled Triffid-like clivea, and, furthermore, found the bathroom door and escaped.

Whew! Its only October! How'll I cope with living in a Palm House all winter?

PS: If you don't hear from one for any length of time you'll know there has been another spectac-ular mishap....

Hmmmm...

Note to self:

When attempting to speed dry school uniform on the kitchen range, ensure ALL spills have been THOROUGHLY cleaned away before laying out clothes...


Eh? sez you.

You don't want to know! sez I.

Tea Time! Ooh-Ouch!

How many of you tea-drinkers have had mishaps in the course of your tea drinking...or even because of your tea drinking?

In the past I've absent-mindedly filled my fountain pen with tea instead of ink, and even dunked a biscuit in the ink bottle,but I reckon those are fairly common errors.

Several friends have ruined their mobile phones by dunking them in their tea, or dropping them in completely, also common enough I'd guess.

But the mishap which takes the biscuit, as far as I'm concerned, happened last week:


Picture this:- a quiet moment, lovely cup of tea in one hand, new Quilt magazine just through the letter-box spread open on the kitchen table ready for a lovely half-hour (or so...!) of reading and thinking...

...mobile bleeps, Middlest wanting info...

...answer text, delete message, return to magazine, pick up lovely hot cup of tea and take that first perfect slurp...

...followed by...a bite of the phone!!!!!!!


Aaaagh!

What was I thinking?
I don't even eat biscuits any more!
Talk about wits gone a-begging!
And boy did it hurt!


(Note to viewers: no mobile phones were injured in the making of this blog post.)

Ya Lyin' Toad!

Last night I lost The Fluffster (our woolly dog, for those not in the know...) for two whole hours after dark. Hoover (other dog) and I were beside ourselves the whole time, racing between the front and back doors checking to see whether he was back, listening outside in the dark, having a fit every time a vehicle drove past...

...you get the picture?


10.10pm we hear the Hub driving in, and cheerful barking, so we rush out:

The Fluffster is sitting on the step welcoming home his lord and master...

...who turns to me and asks:

'Why did you shut him out, poor thing?'

GRRRRRRR........................


I reckon the dog was down at the barn, visiting, heard the car go past and raced home across the fields so the Hub wouldn't know he'd been gone...not the first time, probably not the last, that'll larn me to worry!

Sharpen Yer Hockey Sticks!!

So there I was on Sunday afternoon, spending a nice quiet time with my blogamigos, when I hear a loud mooing.

It gets louder, and louder...and louder...until next thing a big hairy head looks in the window at me!

Hells bells and buckets o' blood! Did I spend all summer working on my garden, and all autumn nurturing winter veg seedlings to have the whole bloomin' lot munchagobbled up in ten minutes flat- roots and all- by a bothersome bunch o' bovines?

Did I heck!

I don't keep a hockey stick in the front hall for nothing you know, and its not just hockey balls I hit with them either!

I tell you Queen Maeve and Granouille had nothing on the virago who belted out to protect her precious garden! Them cows never stood a whisker of a chance! I may have been the strongest hockey player with the worst aim in the history of the Grammar but the players in Connaught knew to run when they saw me coming...cows included!

Whew!

I hope those cows don't know that motto about 'he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day' because I'll be waiting! I'm tellin' ya!

And then there was....Gaudi...

Gaudi...you remember Gaudi? He of the fancy architecture in Barcelona, broken tiles stuck on stuff, colour, design and all that inspiring jazz?

I got a book out of the Library on 'The Complete Works of Gaudi' and set it on the dining table ready for a spare moment's reading.

Along comes the Hub, glances at it and remarks- 'Gaudi! Another bloomin' quilter I suppose...'

Huh?