Opportunities v. Expectations

As some of you know I am, at present, unemployed (and in negotiation with the Welfare Office for some means of support...another story...)

The current PC definition for the unemployed seems to be 'actively seeking work.' That's fine by me- I love work, I can sit and watch it for hours, as the wisecrack goes!

Considering the lists of jobs available online, in newspapers, on newsagents' notice boards, etc I have come to realise how useless I am. I may be a qualified and experienced teacher, but that's it, that's all, and without available teaching jobs what does one do?

So several weeks ago I girded my loins and bearded the owner of the one and only sewing shop in the county...and asked for work experience. Then I tracked down two Garden Clubs and emailed them with an offer to help anyone struggling with an exuberant garden. I have to admit that, although hopeful I felt an awful eejit on all occasions.

Well so far there are three results- two garden owners and  a discussion on Monday with the sewing lady which are all quite exciting for an unemployed teacher (note: really must get out more!!).

The upshot is this though; I find it difficult to see opportunities even when I thought my expectations were almost negligible. I hoped that a couple of people might pay me for the odd half day weeding and tidying, which would help to keep the roof over my head (major concern), but both gardening offers have been in terms of barter, one of which is a great opportunity, and I need to say yippee! instead of panic because it wasn't what I expected.

As a result this afternoon I have been mulling over the difference between opportunity and expectation. How many time does one miss an opportunity because it wasn't quite what one expected, or perhaps it wasn't at all what one expected? How often are we told to 'think outside the box' (mental image of a tiny little anxious grey thinking-bug crouching sadly on the ground beside a huge brown happy cardboard box...)

Not all opportunities are good, or will lead anywhere positive, or are to be taken, or are even right for one at a particular time. But some opportunities are the right ones at the right time and should be seized gleefully.

Long ago I heard a talk about decisions as being forks, or perhaps T-junctions, in the road of life and I recall wondering when my choices and decisions were made because I didn't recall more than a few momentous ones. It seemed to me that my choices have not presented as forks but as side lanes, many taken without thought and others missed entirely. All of you probably feel the same when you look back and wonder how on earth you managed to end up in a particular place'.  One result of that  pondering for me was the decision to believe that at any given point I have made the best choice available to me at the time, so to quit beating myself up over results which may have been less than satisfactory. That conscious decision has given me much peace of mind over the years when things have, very obviously not worked out...at the time I know I did my best, and sometimes the best is just not good enough.

So opportunities versus expectations...learning to bend and turn with the current...deciding to take things as they come and see what happens...being adaptable...

Can an old dog learn new tricks? Not sure.

We'll see I guess!

Living In A...

...cardboard box, as the song says?

No, just a car park!
Friends find it really funny but my address really is Flat 2, *****, *** ** Car Park!

This is the usual view from my bedroom window:

Car park and the river, see?

As I've previously mentioned, it can be very rowdy as there is a pub at right angles to my bedroom and a Night Club behind my kitchen wall, but generally it is entertaining, especially in the recent warm weather when the whole town has taken to living outdoors.

Last night there was a band playing on the other side of the river. There must have been hundreds of people out because as the night progressed it seemed that the clientele took over the singing and the band was left accompanying them, rather than leading the entertainment.
Welcome to the Irish way of doing things!

Anyhow, today's excitement is this: tomorrow the Connaught section of the Stages Rally is happening guess where? In my car park!! Grandstand view or what!! I think its ace- I get a bird's eye view with no bumping or pushing (and when you are as short as me seeing anything can be a serious problem!)

At midnight tonight it will be closed off and....drum roll...Let The Games begin!...or Rally...

I'm tellin' ya lads, 'tis gonna be a fine grand weekend!

Granny Squares

Yesterday, after hauling my butt round various government offices, the library, the bank, and sundry other really exciting places (including a short cut to the river which was more of a looooong cut...) I sat me down with me feets on the table (hobbit-like) and crocheted. Well I knat (past tense of knit) too, but that was in the evening during Star Trek!

I needed a jug cover, but couldn't remember where the muslin was so just crocheted a doily...a good strong colour of a doily, as my granny would have said. And, in the hopes of it draping ever so slightly I strung a bunch of beads around the edge...horrible plastic beads remaining from an old children's kit of my girls I think.

The result is quite hideous, but for the sake of self-esteem we will refer to it as 'funky'...my #*#*!

Funky doily

It doesn't drape or look good but heck! it'll keep out the dust and the bugs, and I can use it as a coaster later! (or give it away?) Besides which, does this face look bovvered to you?

Then I decided to look up Granny Squares because I couldn't remember how many chains between groups of double crochet and I thought it would save the boggles if I got it right first time. I'm sure boggles have their place but with me they do tend to turn up in the wrong places. I've lots of wool oddments and have wanted to make a Granny Squares afghan for ages.

So, here's the trial sample:

Trial Granny Square.

(There are two chain stitches in between clumps, in case you wondered!)

Short question here:
Just why are they called 'Granny' squares?
Does it mean they should only be crocheted by grannies?
Or they are only fit to be made by grannies?
Or only grannies have the time?
But if they have the time wouldn't grannies be doing far more complicated fancy work?

I was intending to get to some sewing over the next few weeks, partly because I need to do some dressmaking, but firstly I need to clear the sewing table:

A well tidy sewing table.

(Just a little tidying?)

I finished school on Wednesday so am now officially either 'on holiday' or 'unemployed' depending on one's point of view. I am chasing up a few jobs, hours here and there, so we will see. But, either because I'm the eternal optimist or because I'm just a total feather-head, I feel more at peace than I have in months. Maybe its just a combination of faith that God and The State will provide!

Don't know.

Meanwhile I have Granny Squares to crochet! A woman with a mission, ha ha!!

Do Your Dreams Need A Lifebelt?

I just came across this post about '21 Fears that will kill your dreams if you let them' by Sarah L. Webb.

Sometimes I read an article or post (same thing maybe?) and sit there thinking and wondering whether the writer opened an invisible window and read my thoughts? Of course, with age and experience come the realisation that most people share similar fears, but that never quite stops the initial jolt of recognition of oneself in a good piece of writing.

Have you ever wondered though, that if we are all afraid of similar things, how does anyone ever achieve anything? Someone told me recently that most people's lives are pretty bad but I just don't buy that. Everyone has troubles, granted, but not everyone has a really bad life. Lots of people are quite happy with their lives albeit perhaps wishing for more of the good things.
When I'm not battling overwhelming depression I am content enough with mine, even though people like to tell me what I should be doing and list all my mistakes and failings.

Heck, if that keeps them happy, go ahead, but I hope they won't mind if I don't listen...

One line I particularly like is: Unless your dream is to be a hermit, you have to work on getting comfortable with people looking at you. That I can soooo identify with.
Its an odd thing but there are many teachers out there who confidently work with a class of thirty  children all day every day for their entire working lives, but ask them to speak to a small group of adults and they run screaming. Its weird. I myself can teach in school and theatre, play the organ in Church, perform piano bar for hours to a shifting crowd but ask me to present a Craft Night to the Mother's Union and I'm in bits!

Still, read the article for yourself and see what you think- myself I can see plenty of lifebelts to grasp and float with! Its all grist to the mill of self-improvement and a life worth living!

Grouchy Grumbles

...people who fail to wipe the counter after snacking- detest mucky counters and table top...

...people who walk off and leave dirty coffee cups around my flat, the coffee table is ok, its localised...

...except when they dump dirty items on top of whatever I am working on, even if it IS on the coffee table.

...clean FOLDED laundry tumbled onto the floor...

...castaway shoes in the living room, kitchen, bathroom- the place for shoes is on the feet, under the bed or in the cupboard. Thank you.

...cold greasy washing up water left 'just in case.' I'd rather you threw it out, cleaned the bowl/sink and ran a fresh lot if you need to do more washing up...on the rare occasion you actually notice there is any to be done...

...wrappers of ANY description NOT in the bin- paranoid about rodents? Moi?


...dirty bathroom sink- how difficult is it to run the sponge around the sink when you are done? yes, that yellow and green item on the corner is 'the sponge' and you are welcome to use it anytime.


You can call me Groucho Marks in future- that way I'll get Marks for being Grouchy.

What was his mother thinking when she called him 'Groucho' anyway?...or was that a nickname- must look him up...Google-wise, I know he's dead thanks.

Grrrrr-ness.

Define....mishap?

One lunchtime last week a small boy sidled into my office.

'Mrs H., I've had an accident.'

'Oh dear. What sort? A plaster sort of accident?'

'Ummm no...more of a trouser sort of accident.'

Poor thing! He was quite embarrassed, so we went along to the second-hand uniform storage and found him another pair.

Problem solved.

But I thought his turn of phrase was most entertaining!

And later on he laughed too. He's that sort of little boy.

Proof of....

Hmmm, that last post kinda proves the diagnosis the doc has been trying to get into my thick skull, and another before him...

BipolarRUs...or is me..

Damn. Thought if I ran hard enough and fast enough I could slither out of that one.

Guess not.

To be informed is to come at problems from a position of power, a mon avis. So here's to a deluge of reading.

Any suggestions for info or websites will be gratefully receieved (but possibly not gracefully).

I know there are worse life sentences, much worse, but the rollercoaster seems bad enough to me sometimes...many times.